Life Change for Couples by James M. Reeves
Life Change for Couples by James M. Reeves is a great resource
for couples to work through the issues that come up in a marriage
relationship. James, senior pastor of
City on a Hill church in Texas is a regular contributor to conferences and
venues relating to relationships, emotional issues, and marriage. As I began working through this book, I was
initially challenged to ask the deep and thorny questions that come up when
dealing with marriage. James has a way
of pulling no punches in this book and getting to the heart of the issues. Whether in a small group of committed believers
or as a couple, this workbook can go a long way in helping couples deal with their
own sins and find healing through Christ.
The chapter on the emotional /spiritual principle was a
particularly powerful chapter. James digs into the meat of the emotional turmoil that goes on in marriage by asking
some key questions. A few of the questions include: What are some of the ways
you have been emotionally wounded, What are some of the ways you have emotionally
abused your spouse? If taken seriously,
these questions can lead one to really find out the emotional damage they cause
their spouse and how they, sometimes, unknowingly, they resort to a default setting
by acting out of their emotional abuse of the past on their spouses. This unhealthy behavior is damaging to communicating
and growing as a couple. The next
chapter on the The Pile Principle is a further commentary on how the emotional
garbage we bring into marriage like unforgiveness and bitterness can pile up to
such a great degree that we cannot see through the end of the tunnel.
James goes onto to talk later in the book about our belief
in God. It’s not that we don’t believe
in God but that we often have wrong beliefs about God. Whether a policeman, grandfather, or old man,
sometimes our behavior is predicated upon a false view of God. I would add here that the encouragement and
right beliefs of a healthy evangelical church goes a long way in rooting out
false beliefs that lead to bad behavior.
Right thinking is the beginning of right behavior. So our beliefs about
God and the good news are very important.
The chapter on commit to Christ is another example of how a relationship
with the Savior, right beliefs and actions about Him, go a long way in
providing a hedge against temptation in a marriage relationship. No matter what, every marriage is conflicted
by the damage of Adam’s fall, it is only through the grace of Christ that we
can change. I was personally helped by
this book by way of asking the tough questions about the way I relate to my
wife. Healing begins with a healthy dose
of the gospel and a recognition that our sin has to be dealt with, emotional
and spiritual.
I hope many couples are encouraged by this book as I
was. With a good dose of wisdom and biblical
insight, James takes you on the road to healing.
Thanks to Kregel Ministry for the copy of this book in
exchange for review.
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