Emerson Eggerich's book entitled Love and Respect hits a note with married couples, especially those dealing with issues that every couple face. His basic premise is that men desire respect from their wives and women want love from their spouses. Respect for men is something that is taken very seriously. Eggerich notes on p. 49 from his research that "I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me." What I take this to mean is that at the core of men is a sense of being needed, of feeling like they matter in a relationship. Whereas for women, the primary call is that they be loved, not just physically, but through all the little things that are meant by love. This carries with it the idea of remembering special occasions, taking care of things around the house, doing the unnoticed things without complaining.
Eggerich seems to be focused mainly in the whole book on how men can be respected by their wives and what happens when they feel disrespected. Although I appreicate the concern for men to respected, I thought that Eggerich could have covered the man's role in marriage in loving his wife sacrficially more clearly.
The best part about the book from my vantage point was the chapter on peacemaking. Sometimes it is so hard to say "I'm sorry." Yet, as Eggerich notes, these words of apology sincerely stated bring about a relationship of trust, for she knows that she can trust you because you open your entire life before her (163). The practical principles on pp. 171-2 give men an indication about how we show loyalty to our wives in practical ways. Sometimes, as Eggerich seems to indicate showing love and loyalty takes place one small step at a time.
Overall, this book is a good reminder about how to be a loving spouse even amidst our sins and frustrations. I was hoping for more interaction from the whole of the Scriptures but I think his analysis of Ephesians 5:33 is very helpful. I think this book would be especially helpful in a married couples bible study. Why? Many of the issues raised in this book including communication between spouses could be better evaluated with other couples in a discussion setting. Secondly, many married couples feel they have to go it alone as far as marriage advice, when instead the body of Christ can help the grow.
Thanks to Thomas Nelson for the opportunity to review this book.
Eggerich seems to be focused mainly in the whole book on how men can be respected by their wives and what happens when they feel disrespected. Although I appreicate the concern for men to respected, I thought that Eggerich could have covered the man's role in marriage in loving his wife sacrficially more clearly.
The best part about the book from my vantage point was the chapter on peacemaking. Sometimes it is so hard to say "I'm sorry." Yet, as Eggerich notes, these words of apology sincerely stated bring about a relationship of trust, for she knows that she can trust you because you open your entire life before her (163). The practical principles on pp. 171-2 give men an indication about how we show loyalty to our wives in practical ways. Sometimes, as Eggerich seems to indicate showing love and loyalty takes place one small step at a time.
Overall, this book is a good reminder about how to be a loving spouse even amidst our sins and frustrations. I was hoping for more interaction from the whole of the Scriptures but I think his analysis of Ephesians 5:33 is very helpful. I think this book would be especially helpful in a married couples bible study. Why? Many of the issues raised in this book including communication between spouses could be better evaluated with other couples in a discussion setting. Secondly, many married couples feel they have to go it alone as far as marriage advice, when instead the body of Christ can help the grow.
Thanks to Thomas Nelson for the opportunity to review this book.
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