My Favorite Color is Blue. Sometimes by Roger Hutchison
Taking a look at the digital copy of this book allowed me to look at the striking art inside the book, and its connection to the words of the page that were focusing on loss. Looking at the physical copy of the book even brings to life more the staggering similarity that the words and pain have together on the page. The focus here is how certain colors express the sentiments of those who have lost a loved one. I did not think that I would relate too well to this book until two days ago, as we lost our little boy, who was only 17 weeks old. The pain is palpable and yet the pages of this book give me good reason to think of my son with a sense of pride and hope.
Roger writes, "You are a shooting star. Your light trails across the heavens. I blinked and you were gone." We were full of anticipation at the first and second ultrasounds, and there was the picture of our little boy Jackson, his developing face and little hands. His light was in his eyes and we couldn't wait to be parents again. Yet, as he was born, no heartbeat, no life was there, we blinked and he was gone. Roger gets at the sense of the abruptness, the sense of immediacy at having someone you love being taken away so quickly, whether its a stillborn child or a grandfather of many years.
Roger's art and words concerning the color red are my favorite. Red connects both the anger of the loss but also the love expressed here now and in our memories of that wonderful person. "When I heard that you were gone, I felt a flash inside of me and I felt like I could not breathe. My stomach tightened...Why did you go away? I miss you. Love is red...and I really love you." The question of why in some cases never really gets answered but the love for that person never goes away. You wish that they were here with you and the madness of anger and the intensity of love both come at you in a most fierce way. Roger gives us the emotions of love and anger while pointing us to the heart of someone who will never quite be the same because of the loss.
I know this book will be a blessing and a salve to those weary souls who find themselves in a place of deep loss as I am. May this book be a cause for healing and grace to those in need.
Thanks to Paraclete Press for the copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.